Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Christmas Eve Treadmill (Almost) Half Marathon

Well, I did it.  I completed my long run on the treadmill on Saturday afternoon.  Here are some thoughts from my Christmas Eve treadmill (almost) half marathon.
Minute 0 – This treadmill can’t be set for distance, only time?!?  And it maxes out at 60 minutes?
Minute 1 - How many channels are there? If TV package no longer includes Fox I may kill someone. Most likely myself
Minute 3 - FINALLY I found the game.  And the Redskins are losing.  Excellent.
Minute 10 - This isn’t so bad.  Why do I stay away from the treadmill?
Minute 12 - These announcers are horrible.
Minute 15 - I hate the treadmill.  Could time go by any slower? It’s going to be  LONG afternoon.
Minute 20 - I should probably bump up the pace here...or just wait until 30 minutes instead.
Minute 25 – These socks are making my legs really hot.  Why did I chose to test them out inside?
Minute 30 - Speeding up!
Minute 40 - Why does Honey Stinger make this package so hard to open?  It says “tear here” yet it seems to be impenetrable
Minute 42 - I’m really not going to get this open. 
Minute 44 - Ugh. That took long enough. Now I remember why I always pre-tear the packages.
Minute 45 - Fruit Smoothie flavor is quite nice.
Minute 52 - I really wish the treadmill wasn’t stopping in 8 minutes.  It’s going to be really hard to force myself to restart it.  Also, why is halftime so long?  This is boring, though that Cincinnati touchdown was pretty cool.
Minute 60 - 6.35 miles done. Cancel cool down, push lots of buttons, please restart faster!!!
Minute 61 - I have to do this all over again and then some.  Can I pick up the pace to fit in 6.8 miles in this hour?  Probably not…
Minute 70 - Oh man, that Adrian Peterson knee injury looked REALLY bad.
Minute 75 – I should really practice tweeting while running. That would be a good skill for Goofy. Except I probably am not coordinated enough for treadmill tweeting.
Minute 80 - Time for another snack!  And I guess I'll pick up the pace again.
Minute 84 - #$!#%!@%  Almost went flying off the back of the treadmill.  Totally distracted by that 67 yard run by Toby Gerhart.  Why can’t the Redskins tackle?
Minute 93 - How did the Redskins blow out the Giants last week and look so bad this week?
Minute 100 - I probably don’t really need to run 13.1 miles.  I mean is there really a reason to run a Christmas Eve half marathon? 1.1 miles won’t make or break Goofy...right?
Minute 101 - But a treadmill half marathon just sounds so much nicer.
Minute 105 - No, 13 is too far.  And completely unnecessary. What do I need to get to on this leg to get to 12? Running math is so hard…
Minute 110 - I can’t stay on this treadmill another 9+ minutes. I should be able to do anything for 10 minutes, but I just can’t.
Minute 111 – And…5.65 miles. I’m done. Unfortunately, it appears that the Redskins are too.  This was not one of my better ideas.  At least I don't have to do a long run on Monday now.


ultrarunnergirl said...

Ha! Great play by play, only it went by WAY too fast to be realistic. You'd have needed another three pages for that.

I am impressed. Maybe next time, go for the world record? I think it is 155 miles or thereabouts ...

Jessica Karazsia (@irun26at8) said...

Haha. This is a pretty funny post and I bet it was boring, boring, boring! I have been there though. I'm going to try to stay far away from the treadmill this winter. Considering I am a weather wimp - this should be interesting.

ImTheMarigold said...

Great job on the treadmill! I ended up bailing on my run because I scored last minute tickets to the 'Skins game. Time would have been better spent on the treadmill. BAH.

Jon said...

This post is awesome!!! I can't believe you lasted that long on the dreadmill.

Beth said...

Haha? Kudos for making it as far as you did!

speedlaces said...

This is hilarious. I would have lasted about a mile before quitting.

Dash said...

Too funny, I did my Goofy training on the treadmill too, it's good to get heat acclimated, but agreed, it's tough! Congrats on making it that far, this post was too funny!

amy said...

I totally missed this the other day! Hilarious. If it had been me I probably would have given up at minute 6.

Elizabeth said...

Oh wow--- that's a great recap because on the treadmill, every minute does seem soooo long! Congrats on getting it done!